The Up’s and Downs!

We have all seen the infomercials of a miracle pill to weight loss which then makes the velvet ropes part and champagne falls from the heavens.  Just pop a pill and it all magically goes away.  Well this happens to be the American lifestyle to EVERYTHING.  Just look at the amount of pills people take for every little thing in their life.  Anxiety, Depression, Blood Pressure, and just about every other symptom out there.  I got news for everyone, there is not a magic pill for any of it if you don’t treat the root of the problem.  In America there is no money in doing that.  If you could take a magic pill for weight loss and magically keep the weight off the company would eventually cease to exist and everyone would then be thin.  Weight loss is done through diet, exercise, and happiness.

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I’ve tried the pills at one point, I wanted an easy way out, I bought into it.  At one point I even looked at gastric bypass surgery.  It wasn’t till the realization hit that it’s going to take hard work and change for me to get where I wanted to be.  I knew there was going to be ups and down and frankly I wasn’t looking forward to any of it.  The first 30-60 days where horrible and I wanted to quit and give up.  That is where faith in myself came in and I had to constantly remind me that only I have the strength within me to change.  Some people say god gives them strength to overcome their obstacles, but that isn’t true for me.  Faith will have to be another blog post at some point.

Starting out I was up at 4:30AM so that I could make it to the gym before the mass of people flocked to 24 Hour Fitness now just so that I could get a workout in but I really didn’t want to be seen there.  I was always so critical on myself in that I didn’t want people in there looking at the fat guy trying to workout.  I always had the mental picture of me wearing a clown suit with that song that stupid circus music on in the background.  It was a hard hurdle to get over mentally.  Now getting up that early had the upside of getting tired and sleepy around 8PM at night.  It was like I was a child again with my parents having the bed time of 8PM!  Oh did my body hurt, in fact it hadn’t hurt this bad since football practice during two-a-days.  I would start asking myself was I crazy, maybe I’m going about this the wrong way, or maybe I was just stupid.  It seems like it is a daily struggle even at this point.  I wake up in the morning and I look at myself in the mirror for any change and I notice that these days I look slimmer but mentally I still see that fat guy.  I’ve asked myself why and the answer is simple yet I can’t grasp my mind around it yet.  It’s cause I have not reached my body fat % goal yet and as long as I have love handles I will always consider myself as fat.  Sure it is no way to think about yourself but lets be honest here.  I didn’t get to almost 380lbs by caring about my body right?  If I’m going to get down to 6-7% body fat I had to start caring I had to keep an ongoing mental picture.  I must maintain focus through it all.  Now I weight myself weekly and I check my body fat percentage on a weekly basis.  There are some weeks where I gain or lose a tenth of a percentage point of body fat and a couple of pounds here and there.  Yes it’s frustrating when you’re trying to lose weight and it doesn’t agree with you.  It’s OK for you to feel frustrated it’s part of being human, it sparks change.

The upside to all the hard work is that I wasn’t ashamed of being in the gym anymore.  I didn’t feel like I was putting on a clown suit with circus music playing in the background.  Recognizing my achievements helped me build confidence and faith in myself that I can do thing.   I found myself wanting to do more races, more active stuff on the weekends.  I had more energy and desire to do new things.  I wanted to do another triathlon but I really didn’t want to do the run.  I hate running, I still hate running now I find it incredibly boring and mind numbing.  So I talked to Josh and Joanne about getting a relay team together to do the sprint distance.  They agreed so we did it and I did the swim.  Then before I knew it Joanne talked me into doing the Rock N Roll Las Vegas Half Marathon.  I was having fun not just training but I was having fun doing the events.  I found myself wanting to be around people who were excited about fitness and wanting to be healthy.  Then at some point I saw a friend from high school (Kristen) doing NPC Figure Competitions which helped inspire me.  She was a class above me and we began to talk more and more about fitness and competing which was great to have someone that I could not just go to for advice but also bounce idea’s off.  One day I let her talk me into doing a Tough Mudder which to this day has been the hardest thing physically and mentally do prepare for and finish.  I tried to get a team together of friends that would join the 2 of us but I was only able to get Josh to do it with me.  Then a few weeks before the start Kristen had to pull out because she couldn’t get out here from Utah.  But at this point I was committed to doing it.  I knew I wasn’t going to be able to run the whole thing and I wanted to do all of the obstacles.  I had to skip some cause my body just couldn’t do it.  It was disheartening but I stayed positive and I’m looking to do one in 2014.  I was building a great immediate support system which was great for me.  Because I always felt like I was alone with doing this, maybe because I was afraid to reach out or had to much pride to ask for help?

Now during the entire course of ups and downs that are never ending you realize that everyone goes through them.  it’s a part of life and there isn’t any way around it.  You are going to fall, you are going to fail, and you are going to endure.  Your character is built on how you get up, how you learn from failure and how much you can endure before your mind and/or body can no longer take it.  So to sum things up there is no magic pill for change because what works for one person will not work for you. 

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One thought on “The Up’s and Downs!”

  1. I can relate to this on many levels. I’m constantly asking myself why can’t I do for myself what I seem to do for everyone else. I can achieve goals in my career and academics but struggle with loving & caring for myself.

    I thought about my accomplishments with my degrees & career and how did I do it? It wasn’t easy but I set goals and worked hard for it.

    That’s the key, I worked hard for it. Like you said there is no magic pill or surgery. I have been told & pushed into believing bypass surgery was the only option for me but I refuse to give up on myself. I know I have it in me to fight for myself. It won’t be easy but I am worth it. That is what I am learning every time I exercise or make a better healthier choice is that I AM WORTH IT & DESERVE IT!

    A day at a time set backs & strides I will make it to the finish line. That is my goal!

    Thanks Chris fit putting yourself out there for the rest of us.

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